Understanding Triggering Trauma Responses and Why Being “Triggered” Is Often Misunderstood

“I wasn’t overreacting, I was reliving something my body never forgot.”

Today, the word triggered gets thrown around loosely, used to mock someone as overly sensitive, or to dismiss an emotional reaction as irrational. But for those of us living with the effects of trauma. Especially childhood trauma (ACEs), a trigger is not a weakness or mood swing. It is a physiological survival response. It’s not in your head, it’s in your nervous system. The nervous system of someone who has experienced childhood trauma has a mind of its own, and when it’s activated, reasoning bypasses the mind. It’s like an autopilot default response rooted deep into the nervous system.

When I began my healing journey as an ACE survivor, I didn’t understand why certain smells, sounds, tones, movements, gestures, facial expressions or attitudes could suddenly make me freeze, dissociate, or spiral into shame or deep grief. It wasn’t until I learned how trauma lives in the body that I realized:

A trigger is not a flaw. It’s a signal, a flare from the past saying: “This feels familiar. Be careful.”

What a Trigger Actually Is

A trigger is a sensory or emotional cue that reminds your nervous system of a past danger. It might be:

A sound, like yelling or footsteps
A smell, like alcohol or hospital-grade disinfectant
A look on someone’s face
A phrase or tone of voice
Even a positive event that the body doesn’t know how to receive

What makes triggers confusing is that they are often not logical. That’s because trauma is stored in the implicit memory system, in the body, not in conscious awareness.

When triggered, you might experience:

Sudden emotional flooding (tears, rage, terror)
Physical symptoms (tight chest, nausea, shakiness)
Dissociation (feeling numb, floaty, unreal)
A deep sense of “not being safe” even in calm environments

This isn’t you being dramatic, it’s your amygdala trying to protect you.

Resource: Trauma and the Nervous System: A Polyvagal Perspective

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk’s Insight

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, explains that traumatized people often become stuck in a state of reliving the trauma, not just remembering it.

Here’s what’s happening in your brain:

The amygdala (your brain’s smoke alarm) detects threat
It signals danger before your rational brain (prefrontal cortex) can evaluate the situation
Your body reacts as if the trauma is happening again, even when you're technically safe

This is why someone’s voice tone, a slammed door, or a certain holiday can unleash a wave of emotion that feels impossible to control. You’re not overreacting, you’re re-experiencing.

Common Reactions to Being Triggered

Triggers can lead to many different nervous system responses, including:

Freeze or Numbness: Feeling shut down, blank, disconnected
Panic or Rage: Outbursts that feel “out of nowhere”
Sudden Tears or Shaking: Crying without knowing why
Hypervigilance: Feeling unsafe, bracing for impact
Self-blame: “What’s wrong with me?” or “Why can’t I just let it go?”

I’ve lived these responses. I’ve worked with clients who carry them daily. And I want you to know, these are not character flaws. These are survival responses.

The Shame Spiral

Unfortunately, many of us who’ve been triggered then shame ourselves for it.

We say things like:

“I shouldn’t still be affected by this.”
“That wasn’t a big deal. Why did I react like that?”
“I’m too sensitive. I need to toughen up.”

But here’s the truth:

Your nervous system doesn’t measure what “should” or “shouldn’t” bother you. It only responds to perceived threat based on your past.

Triggers are not defects, they’re internal alerts. The body is saying:
“This reminds me of something that hurt. Please pay attention.”

Reframing Triggers as Invitations

Rather than suppressing or avoiding triggers, what if we listened to them with curiosity?

Try asking:

“What is this moment reminding my body of?”
“Where do I feel this in my body right now?”
“What does this part of me need?”
“Can I offer comfort instead of judgment?”

As a somatic grief coach, I guide clients through this kind of gentle inner inquiry, not to re-traumatize, but to reconnect. When we make space for these parts, we start transforming them.

Resource: Trauma and the Brain

Gentle Grounding Practices for Trigger Moments

When you feel activated, your job isn’t to force yourself to be “fine.” It’s to create safety in the now.

Here are a few grounding tools I often share with clients:

Orienting: Slowly look around and name what you see. Remind your body: “This is now. I am safe here.”
Feet on the Floor: Press your feet down, wiggle your toes, and feel your body weight settle.
Soothing Touch: Place one hand on your chest or belly. Feel the warmth. Breathe gently.
Movement or Sound: Sway, hum, shake out your arms, or take a walk to discharge energy.
Name What’s Real: “This feels like the past, but I’m not in danger right now.”

These practices don’t erase trauma—but they help your body feel safe enough to stay present.

My Role as a Trauma-Informed Grief Guide

As someone who lives this work and has lived the wounds, I meet your trigger responses with zero judgment and full compassion.

In our work together, I can:

Help you understand and track your unique nervous system patterns
Normalize your responses and remove the shame layer
Offer co-regulation during somatic activation
Teach you the language of the body so you can feel more in control
Create space for you to express what words can’t always reach through breath, movement, stillness, or sound

Your Triggers Don’t Define You, They Guide You

You are not broken because you get triggered.

You are wise, and your body is doing everything it can to protect you.

And with support, you can teach it that safety is possible again.

“Every trigger is a messenger. Not of your weakness, but of your unmet need for safety, care, and integration.”

Written by Sabrina Steczko
Certified End-of-Life Doula | Trauma-Informed Grief Guide | Somatic Wellness Specialist | Mental Health Advocacy

What is a Trigger?